You know what I'm thinkin'? Kentucky Fried Duck!

(Please note that this post was written on May 17, 2004)

One of the suppliers dropped in today, gave me a free bag of Planter's Peanut Butter Bites (think Reese cups, but swankier) and asked if the store would be willing to order a box. Of course, with such a bribe as that and being lusty with power myself I yelled out to the heavens, "Damn right we would!!!!" I've sampled one and I have to say they're decent, except for a peanut aftertaste that lingers long after it's welcome. So, in an uncharacteristic spirit of generosity, I've decided to offer them to my customers instead. Response has been excellent, but there are a few people who still hang on the notion that nothing can beat a Reese. Ah, the joy of branding at work. How people can be emotionally involved with a chocolate bar is beyond me, but hey, what can you do? Some people have accused me of doing this just to move the product. Well, of course, but I'm mostly doing it to bribe people into thinking I'm not a total asshole. I'll buy their love and devotion yet.

I've sold one bag as I write this. Go me! Go Joelie, it's your birthday, gonna drink some Pepsi like it's my birthday. Sellin' lots of chocolate like it's my birthday It ain't even October but it's still my birthday! You can find me in the store Selling cigs to underage crack whores Pimpin' out candy gets me love So come give me a hug

Ooh... sorry 'bout that. But aren't parodies of year old songs the best? Just wait until I start on John Mayer!

While we're on the topic of pop music, I was recently mocked by three of my friends for not recognizing a recent Britney Spears song. I just, I don't know, there's just so many things WRONG with that I don't know where to begin. One would figure that you know, NOT having any knowledge on something so stupid would be laudable. Here's a little experiment you can do: go to Google and search for "Calgary Sun health care" and "Calgary Sun Britney Spears". FYI, the Calgary Sun is one of the daily papers in the glorious province of Alberta. Notice a disparity in the numbers? The Britney Spears search turns up at least twice the amount of results. How is it that something as trivial as an over-sexed pop star gets twice as much press as something that has a bearing on our daily lives? Sweet Zombie Jesus, any sign of ignorance in respect to the vacuous tart should be applauded!

And this is coming from a guy who just did a parody of a 50 Cent song. Hello, hypocrisy, my old friend... but the sentiment remains strong and true. It's practically impossible to tune out the ramblings of pop culture. Lord knows how much useless trivia concerning it I have harbored in my brain. But maybe, just maybe, we can cease our infatuation with it, and start to to concentrate on issues that matter.

Now whattya think of that; Danewort, Saraband, and Jeroboam?*

* Names changed to protect the incontinent