Rum in the Jungle

Don't worry, this post will have nothing to do with my blog or the new re-design or anything of that nature. Instead, I shall be telling you about the past weekend and the wacky antics I got up to. I can't exactly remember the last time I did a post like this, really; I decided a long time ago that nothing in my personal life is blog-worthy and I've stuck to that notion like rubber cement. Work? That's fine. Stupid thoughts? Those are fine too. But personal details? Oh good God, no. Besides, you really have to have a personal life to describe before you can go about describing your personal life.

But first, I betta recognize: One of the fine fellows on the link list (there I go blowing the not-talking-about-my-blog thing) was in the paper this weekend. And it wasn't for being part of some sex-drenched scandal, if you can imagine that. I was reading the Edmonton Journal on Saturday and when I began to scan through the eD supplement, an article on Scrabble caught my eye. And wouldn't you know, Nick Tam was the focus of it. So yeah, this should PROVE that good things happen to people on my blogroll. In fact, I'm going to be so bold as to predict that nobody on the ol' roll gets cavities this year. No need to thank me, folks; your bills are in the mail.

Back to the weekend: I have something to announce. Dane, one of my best friends and one hell of a kick-ass blogging partner, is moving outta Rocky. He'll be heading to North Battleford, Saskatchewan to work on its local paper. And so, apart from all-too-infrequent visits with Rob and Lynn, I shall be friendless and alone in the coming months. What's that you're saying? You think I should get more friends? Well geez, people! That's your answer for everything!

"Help! My toast fell on the floor!"
"So? Get more friends!"
"Help! I'm impotent!"
"So? Get more friends!"
"Help! I'm being attacked by grizzly bears on LSD!"
"I already told you to get more friends, didn't I?"

Repeat ad nauseum. Anyway, I planned on hanging out a lot with Dane and his girlfriend Famira before they head out to Saskatchewan this Thursday. On Friday night, after working an afternoon shift, I went to Duffer's Pub to meet them while they were playing pool. Let me explain something 'bout Famira: She is addicted to pool. If Dane ever told her to choose between pool or him, there'd be a door hitting his ass on the way out. Now let's explain something about me: I do not like pool, I cannot play pool, and I have no desire to learn pool. And although my tolerance thereof has increased over the past three months, there's still no way I can comfortably be part of a night based around it. Faced with the prospect of the evening turning out to be just that, I put forth a motion to relocate the proceedings elsewhere. Unfortunately, there were no seconders, and I believe the Speaker even threatened to "kick my monkey ass". So much for decorum.

It was then I decided to go get something to eat. Neither of my compatriots were interested so I trudged off by myself. So of course, the first place I went to was the video store. They had nothing good for sale, so I went to [fast food restaurant name deleted to avoid mockery]. After waiting in line for fifteen minutes watching the cashier serve one whole customer the entire time, I got fed up and left. You get kind of annoyed when you see about three cars receive their orders in the amount of time it took the humble cashier to fetch some fries. So, piss on you, [fast food restaurant name deleted to avoid mockery]! I went to 7-11 afterwards to purchase one of their over-priced pitas instead. And when I went up to the counter, one of the girls working till flashed me a gang sign and yelled, "Yo Joel! Check it! Check it!" Which would be fine and dandy, except I've never met this girl before in my life. She walked away to work on the coolers, so I asked the lady serving me who she was. Apparently, her name is Ariel. There's only two Ariels I've ever heard of; one's a little mermaid, and the other is Ariel Sharon. It should go without saying that she was neither of them. So, what's the deal? Am I becoming famous for unknown reasons? Or did I actually meet her before and forgot about it? If the latter's the truth, then it's a real pity - for she's really, REALLY cute.

After the 7-11 Shenanigans, it was back to Duffer's Pub with I. Just in time to watch Cheap Sunglasses, the ZZ Top tribute band playing there that night. They sounded cool, I guess. The only lyrics I could make out were "She woke up fucking Legolas!" or something akin to that. I was in a better mood when I returned so I decided to play some pool, and at which I was promptly schooled. Oh well, such is life. After Famira had decided we'd played enough pool, we sat down in a booth and began to read aloud from the David Suzuki book she had brought with her. Well, Famira and I did, Dane has an image to uphold and everything. Good times, man; good times.

But anyway, this post has gone on long enough, so I'll torture you with the remaining details next time. Stay tuned for Action! Adventure! Laughter! Heartbreak... of psoriasis!