An Attractive Man with an Attractive Plan

It's raining, it's porny
The old man is horny...


Hoo doggy, is it ever pouring out today! It started last night, just after the Flames fucked up Game 6 and it's not supposed to peter out until tomorrow afternoon. And while the population of Rocky weeps, the leprechaun in my head is doing backflips to disco music. Yeah, I've spelled out my general "frustration" with summertime before, so it should be obvious that anything that cuts a swath through the hot and sticky is fine by me. After all, it's easy to beat the heat when there's no heat to beat. Ain't it sweet? Another bonus is how quiet the store gets. It's a double-edged sword, though; as soon as the storm's over there's a rebound rush of people three times bigger than a normal rush. So, if it manages to keep up like this until after closing time, it'll be an awesome night. But as I type this, the rain just stopped. Fuck.

Er, when the clouds are close to the ground and swirling around in a circle, is that a bad thing? It reminds me of that time when my friend Jermey and I were on the run from this massive F5 tornado and had to tie ourselves to a pipe with my belt so we wouldn't get flung from here to Oz. Oh, wait, that was Twister. I guess that would explain why Jermey had a nice rack and looked like Helen Hunt.

Without anything better to do (besides, you know, doing my job) I've thrown myself headlong into Powers, the comic series by Brian Michael Bendis and some Oeming chap. I know I should perhaps be brushing up on my Plato, which I said I was going to do during my little breaks at work instead of reading comics. Philosophy is a much nobler pursuit, is it not? Plus, you can have something more akin to a normal conservation about it compared with comics. Although, I should admit, not by much. Comics and philosophy are the same in one matter, in that you can't just drop them into casual conversation. Really, there isn't much that'll make an uncomfortable silence faster than broaching the subjects of "Free Will vs. Determinism" or "Who was a better Green Lantern; Kyle, John, or Hal?" At least with the people I know, although at least two of them would have something to say on the latter matter. Er, what was the point I was trying to make again? Anyways, it all comes down to this: Do I want my homoeroticism explicit, or do I want it implicit? Seeing as a few of my customers have started to question my sexuality, to the point where they're asking me to my face if I pursue the love that dares not speak its name, I better turn away from the explicit stuff for the time being. Which reminds me of a time when I was lamenting to a friend that I couldn't attract a woman to save my life. His response? "Well, at least you're not gay!" Thanks, I think?

Anyways, I believe I was going to talk about Powers? Yes, I was, before I went all tangential on your asses. I must have ADD or something, I can't seem to keep on one topic for more than three seconds. Powers? Let's see. Two homicide detectives. Their job is to solve cases that involve "Powers", or to put it another way, that involve superheroes. It's a highly entertaining read; sort of like a gritty cop drama tossed into a blender with a copy of Watchmen. Some of the thematic elements I've already seen, but they've never been used quite like this before. Where else can you see immaculately dressed terrorists lob Molotov cocktails at superheroes in protest of the Powers' "domination" of society? Or a hero who's just about impervious to any form of attack literally fucking himself to death? Not in Hagar the Horrible, that's for damn sure. It's such a damn fine book I'm going to have to pick up the trades. Which means going into the comic shop in Red Deer. You know, I always thought Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons was simply a caricature. Until I met one at that store. [shudder] Here's a quick tip; if I think you're a loser, then there's something seriously wrong with you. Seek help.