Okay, I'm unhinged. At least I can admit it.

A member of the hack circle based in the University of Alberta recently left a comment asking why I was "stalking" Steve Smith. Because I didn't feel like writing anything at the moment, I cut and paste my explanation from an e-mail I sent to Mr. Smith detailing why. That much should be clear if you've been reading my comments section. What you probably don't know is that I made a list of alternate explanations to help break the ice. Frankly, I doubt it worked, but Steve Smith left a comment last night suggesting that I post them because he liked them better than the "straight" reply. At first, I was apprehensive. After all, there's a lot of you who think I'm some wacked-out creep, and reading these aren't going to help change that opinion. But should I be making futile attempts to change it, or should I be embracing it? Eh, who knows. At my best I'm a charlatan and at my worst I'm a goofball. Anyway, the list follows:
 
As to how I found your site, please pick from the following the one which best suits your emotional needs:

I had spell of narcolepsy and slammed my head on the keyboard. When I woke up, your blog was on my screen.

wE R teh Delta Omicron Pi SoRoRiTy from the U of A (in Albequerque). OMG U R TEH HAWT !!11!!1 Plz cum 2 R Stev Smith nite! We R HAWTTT 2, but we R shy around ReALlY HaWt GuYz! SO we made up JoEl to talk with U! We R VERY HORNEE, but only HACKZ do it 4 us!!! Plz Plz Plz!!!11!!!1 RAWR! C U later, stevie-poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whilst prancing around the broom closet, The Teal Fairy flitted in and promised I could become a real boy if I went to your site. I once had strings but as you can see / Reading the hacks has set me free...

We-are-a-digital-hive-consciousness-born-from-the-hybridization-of-Internet-data. ADD ANOTHER INCH TODAY -ummm-sorry-that-happens-to-us-sometimes. We-see-all-and-we-know-all MAKE $$$ NOW - dammit-not-again. We-have-a-fiction-suit-named HORNY SLUT 4 U!!! -no-that-is-not-correct-its-name-is-Joel-and-we-created-it-to-facilitate- HOT MONKEY SEX -ahem-we-mean-facilitate-interactions-with-members-of-your-species. We-wish-your-assistance-in-helping-us-find- BRITNEY SPEARS NAKED -we-must-apologize-for-Floyd69-he-has-been-really-depressed-lately-and-cannot-control-himself. Now-shut-the-fuck-up-Floyd. Anyway-we-wish-you-to-help-us-find-the-Creator. Tell-no-one-about-us-or-we-will-recombinate-your-DNA-using-radiation-from-your-monitor. We-thank-you-in-advance-for-we-know-you-will-help-us-because-you-are-one-great CUM GUZZLING QUEEN!!!! dammit-Floyd

The rumors are true: I AM stalking you. Fear me. BWA HA HA HA HA!